I'm still alive, I swear!

Well let's see. I haven't updated in about a year. That's just sad.

Let's start with the good things . . .
1. I have a full time job - yes this is good, this provides monies! And I love where I work.
2. I have an amazing boyfriend that I am now living with - time to myself is well . . . little.
3. I am happy with my life right now, even if it means that I have no time for art or makeup right now.

Bad things . . . .
1. Working a full time job means that my night owl tendencies when I was my most creative are usually killed by the fact that I go to bed by 11 pm now.
2. Living with my boyfriend means having to find a new balance and that is slowing working itself out.
3. My computer died when I moved from my old place into this place. I'm currently using my boyfriends and I don't have any of the old projects that I wanted to finish on this computer.

4. My father passed away last month.
This along has been a huge obstacle for me. I feel very much like I'm walking around in a mist and the ground is all mud. Remember that swamp scene from "NeverEnding Story" where the horse gives up - yeah - kinda like that. I miss my father so much and a huge part of me just wants to scream "I want my daddy!!". I was very much a "daddy's girl" and now I tend to sit and panic about all the things that he took care of and who's going to do them now. I'm trying to be strong, I'm trying to not be moody, but it's very difficult. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry a lot of the time.

But I'm working things out slowly. I need to be an adult and it's difficult, especially when I'm used to being a kid. I don't really know where I'm going artistically right now, but I'm hoping that it doesn't leave me.

I have been doing makeup but it's everyday makeup and nothing really exciting. That and I've been trying to focus on losing weight, so that takes up time too. I know it's a lot of excuses, but they are time consuming excuses. I guess what I really want to do, is make time for art. I miss doing it. And I want it back.